My 16-Year-Old Self Responds To Advice I'd Give My 16-Year-Old Self If I Went Back in Time

[robotnik2004]

(For mgrasso and ivan23, and the meme going around.)

1. You're not the boss of me.

2. I don't care how much I'll regret it, I just want a girlfriend.

3. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exercise, posture, flossing, rest my eyes. I'll get right on that. No, I don't need to write it down, I'll remember.

4. I don't care how crazy she ends up, I just want a girlfriend.

5. OK. But historians make lots of money, right?

6. I don't care what she burns down, I just want a girlfriend.

7. Listen, what I want to hear about most is Star Wars. Is it really true there are going to be three prequels? And are they totally awesome? Like I even have to ask. I can't wait to see George Lucas work his magic again!

8. OK. But you- I mean me- I mean, we're a Republican, right?

9. Wait, that I will write down: go to the Hong Kong, in Boston, Massachusetts, on November 10, 1999... talk to the girl with short hair, funky glasses (did you just say "funky"?? who are you supposed to be, Jimmy JJ Walker?), and tight gray sweater... How tight are we talking here?

10. Well, thanks for all the advice. Do you think you could score me and my friends some beer?

Comments

[chris-goodwin.livejournal.com]

I have, since I was about 14, had a standing deal with myself that if I ever met my future self, and he told me to do something, I would do it without question.

[kniedzw.livejournal.com]

#6 is where I lost it.

[jeffwik.livejournal.com]

TWENTY-SIX-YEAR-OLD ME: Everything you think is a good idea, it's not.

SIXTEEN-YEAR-OLD-ME: Seriously?

TWENTY-SIX-YEAR-OLD-ME: Yeah, look, just, whenever you think you have a good idea? Do the opposite.

SIXTEEN-YEAR-OLD-ME: Like George on that one episode of Seinfeld.

TWENTY-SIX-YEAR-OLD-ME: That's aired?

SIXTEEN-YEAR-OLD-ME: Yeah.

TWENTY-SIX-YEAR-OLD-ME: Whoa.

(beat)

SIXTEEN-YEAR-OLD-ME: So.

TWENTY-SIX-YEAR-OLD-ME: Hey, wait. There is one thing that's a good idea. Go ahead and go to college. Like, Hendrix, I dunno. I went to Hendrix, it worked out okay. In state. Scholarship.

SIXTEEN-YEAR-OLD-ME: Your advice is "go to college in state?" I was going to do that anyway. Is there anything specific I should do or not do?

TWENTY-SIX-YEAR-OLD-ME: Give me a second. I got another one. Sometime in late July or August of 2001, you'll have the opportunity to mow your grandmother's lawn. I want to you consider that a really important, high priority action item.

SIXTEEN-YEAR-OLD-ME: I fucking hate mowing the lawn.

TWENTY-SIX-YEAR-OLD-ME: I don't care. What else, what else...

SIXTEEN-YEAR-OLD-ME: When do I have sex?

TWENTY-SIX-YEAR-OLD-ME: First piece of advice, I said, is that if it seems like a good idea at first, it's probably not.

SIXTEEN-YEAR-OLD-ME: I don't get it. Probably?

TWENTY-SIX-YEAR-OLD-ME: Okay. Short list of good choices I've made in the next ten years. Going to Hendrix. Moving to Boston. Joining a Nobilis game.

SIXTEEN-YEAR-OLD-ME: You're a real go-getter, you know that?

TWENTY-SIX-YEAR-OLD-ME: Well, chances are Thirty-Six-Year-Old-Us is going to appear and explain why I'm wrong, so maybe it'll work out.

[crisper.livejournal.com]

Hahahahaha oh yeah.

[foogie.livejournal.com]

When I speak to my 16 year old me, he tells me to smoke less pot.

[mysteriousrhino.livejournal.com]

Brilliant.

[ivan23.livejournal.com]

::hangs head in shame::

::extends hand to shake::

You win.