Jake's Boss Lymphogranuloma

Well, it took three visits this week to three different doctors, but as of today I have immigration paperwork certifying that I do not display any of the following conditions:

- active tuberculosis
- chancroid
- chronic alcoholism
- gonorrhea
- Hansen's disease
- HIV infection
- lymphogranuloma venereum
- insanity
- mental defect
- mental retardation
- narcotic drug addiction
- previous occurrence of one or more attacks of insanity
- psychopathic personality
- sexual deviance
- syphilis

What the heck is "chancroid," anyway? I don't like me the sounds of it.

So maybe it's lame to post to LJ on a Friday night, thus revealing that I am at home alone, but hey, I have Jake's Boss Barbecue waiting for me, plenty of hooch, and a cool-looking movie about Japanese sorcerers to watch. So I feel pretty good about my Friday night plans. Plus I have it in writing that I am not insane, deviant, or syphilitic. Do you have it in writing that you are not insane, deviant, or syphilitic? Yeah, that's what I thought.