robotnik2004 | Babes & Bunyans

Originally published at Route 96. You can comment here or there.

The last and perhaps best named attraction in this cavalcade of rather hurting tourist traps were the Trees of Mystery. I’m sorry to report that the Trees of Mystery were just closing by the time we got there, so just what was so special about them remains… a mystery. In the Trees of Mystery parking lot, however, was a giant statue of Paul Bunyan and his blue ox, Babe. We sauntered over for some photos, amused by the family of Euro-children talking to the statues (and also by the fact that Babe the giant ox was anatomically correct), when suddenly, the giant lumber jack answered the children in a big booming voice.

There must have been a guy inside Paul Bunyan somewhere peeking out, whose job was to banter with the visitors to the Trees of Mystery. “HELLOOO DOWN THERE!” he’d say. “YOU IN THE MOTOR HOME! HAVE YOU VISITED MY GIFT SHOP? WHY NOT MAKE YOURSELF A SOUVENIR PENNY OR TRY SOME TREES OF MYSTERY FUDGE?” Paul wasn’t having much luck chatting with the German kids, however. They kept shouting up questions like “Are you made ov metal or ov vood?” And he’d mishear them, booming back, “AM I BETTER OR AM I GOOD?” Good times.

You-Had-To-Be-There Moment #66

“Well, it looks like there’s space for a handicapped motorcyclist.”