Last thing you want is to be on the business side of "Scouting for Boys," pay the children of Baden-Powell the bill, and thank them for the opportunity to do so.

It's clear that not only have you travelled in space, but in time, too. Sounds like you've skipped back a couple few generations. Sure, there's Humvees 'n' tattoos 'n' crap around to keep you at ease, but it's mostly illusion. There then is not now. Every historian's dream, to uhhh go back in time. Do whatever the chihuahua sez, it's clearly trying to communicate to you and is probably your only way back to the present.