If today, December 18, is your birthday, you are a Sagittarius with a chivalrous heart and an honest, cheerful nature. You are 62, 32, or 60 years old today, and you are a great father, a terrific best friend, and probably the most influential rhythm (not lead) guitarist of the rock era.
If today is your birthday, you revolutionized the field of exercise physiology with a new focus on resistance, rather than aerobic, exercise and the use of techniques like muscle biopsies and histochemistry. Your old flame Marianne Faithfull believes your drug problems stem from guilt over the 1969 death of guitarist Brian Jones, or else your childhood choir and violin lessons. Being so short before your adolescent growth spurt can't have helped. Today you manage a nuclear reactor and are an aspiring techno DJ, a strange avocation for someone who seems to always be listening to the same easy listening CDs from Time-Life records every time I'm home. You can't watch a movie without giving away the ending or offering bizarre trivia like "this was the first action movie to prominently feature cross-country skiing"a trait I have inherited.
If today is your birthday, you are at home in the outdoors. You seem to know every animal and tree in the forest, and I often wish I'd absorbed more of that knowledge from you, but then sometimes I think you're just bullshitting. Your weblog can be found here
, and I love it, though occasionally I think it's a wee bit too eager to convince us how cool you are. If today is your birthday, you are
cool, you don't need to force it, man.
In fact, if today is your birthday, you are living proof that geeky kids grow up to be the hippest adults. I can always count on you as a barometer of what's cool and happening. Yet you rate restaurants largely on the availability of parking. If today is your birthday, your solo albums were better than Mick's, but let's be honest, that's not saying much. You say you don't ever want children, but I don't really believe you. You would make a terrific father, as long as you don't harvest your children's organs to replace your own or drain their blood for life-prolonging transfusions.
If today is your birthday, the whole world has followed your tempestuous love-hate relationship with Mick Jagger, krustukles
, and/or Mom. Also Digby. But at the risk of getting a little sappy, you should know how much I value more mundane memories, like all the times we walked home from school past your place talking about mutants and computer games and the Seans, or bonded over crappy Clint Eastwood and Charles Bronson movies when the rest of the family was at the cottage, or when you were in a drunken stupor, methodically punching out Anita Pallenberg in front of your children.
If today is your birthday, you are my herofor your intelligence, optimism, good humor, and the Let It Bleed
album. I am lucky to have you as my friend, my Dad, and an indestructible rock-and-roll ghoul who will walk the earth long after the rest of us are dead and gone.
Happy birthday, Chris, Keith, and Dad.